just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
