butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
