the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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