Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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