awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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