I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
then he tried to convert me to islam
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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