whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
