Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
