I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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