Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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