the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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