I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
