i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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