I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
