I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
