I must be too annoying 4 u.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
