Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
