we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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