She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
