he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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