i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
