You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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