What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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