I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
