So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
handjob tips. give me some.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize