i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
