i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
