tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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