Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize