I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
