I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
