Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
4 words: hood of his car
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
