Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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