im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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