the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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