and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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