Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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