what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
