I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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