i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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