We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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