i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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