It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
