so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I believe in your delicious
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize