And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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