Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We need a shit load of segways right now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize