I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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