I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
