I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
