$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
