I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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