so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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