I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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