Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
