Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I fill condoms, not promises.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
